Following on from my thoughts of being a sad, lonely singleton for the majority of my university life, I decided to ask people what they really thought love was. I questioned on a number of platforms including Twitter, my Facebook status to friends, online forums and also in Facebook groups that I am a part of. I want to include these responses within my performance. I asked three questions, these being:
1. What does love mean to you?
2. Do you ever feel pressure to be in love/find love?
3. What makes you love a person?
These were some responses that I received….
1. What does love mean to you?
“Having someone to share the stories of your day with whether it was a rubbish one or the best day of your life”
“knowing that someone is there for you, be it a partner, relative or friend”
“Love means having someone you call one of your best friends to be by your side through thick and thin, to pick you up when you fall down, and someone who looks at you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters at that moment.”
” love is when you literally liked a girl since you were kids together and you ran into the sea to get her red scarf and you’re gonna ask her out but then she starts getting obsessed with some weird guy who lives in a cave under a theatre and he nearly kills you but you stay with her anyway”
“Love means to me: when your life and their life merge. You feel incomplete without their smile and the presents in the room. Someone that you think about all the time and are considerate with your time. You make time for them. You alter you future plans to fit them in. Not change but make room for them. Someone who you can’t see your everyday life without them. Even if it’s just a text. Or looking at a photo. But this feel never fades. It’s timeless.”
“Companionship, trust and knowing someone always has your back”
” Love is scary, exciting and an absolute celebration of the collision of two lives choosing to intertwine, trust and belong to each other- body and souls. It should definitely be shouted from the rooftops if it is truly felt and believed in. It is a massive deal- you are an individual, choosing to openly give love and most importantly reciprocate and receive love- trusting that it is fully reciprocated.”
2. Do you ever feel pressure to be in love/find love?
“Not really. A personal believer that there is someone for everyone.”
“I feel pressure to conform to society view of love”
“From society, yes. but personally i don’t put pressure on myself to find someone”
” I used to, but not anymore. Love is something that will happen naturally, but society certainly pushes you towards ‘needing’ love more than it should.” Right now, no. I’m still newly out of a long term relationship and most people around me know that, so at the moment I rarely get “oh are you seeing someone yet”. Give it a year and that may be different but who knows.”
“I think a lot of chronically single people like me feel pressured to think they need to be with someone, even if they’re happy alone. Usually I’m chill until I see other people in couples and that social construct of relationship = happy kind of kicks in”
” I don’t feel pressure to be in love or find it. I just like the idea of being in a relationship having someone who loves me just as much as I love them. Get lonely, very lonely being on my own in normal situations like without friends and family so having a partner is the perfect combination. ”
“Only on social media; as people depict a perfect life when the reality is so different.”
“I don’t feel pressured I think I’ll just happen randomly one day…”
” Feel pressure to hold on to love, not to let it go, like it would be a shame to come this far and let it slip away. It’s a good pressure, keeps me motivated to stay close to all those I love.”
3. What makes you love a person?
“Someone who makes me laugh and who embodies qualities that I perhaps don’t. Someone who makes me feel at home, no matter where we are. Someone who supports, encourages and believes I am something special.”
“Someone that can be your best friend, who you can trust, have laughs with, someone understanding and caring, someone who I look at the future and see fits perfectly.”
“Their personality, the way they treat you and if they’re not afraid to tell their friends their feelings towards you”
“Initially, looks are important, attraction, smile, eyes etc. but humour, shared beliefs and trust make it lasting love.”
” I think if I am attracted to someone and then there personality is amazing it’s a winner. Like I’m more interested in what someone’s got say that what they look like, because anyone can go to the gym. I find people with unique features attractive and strong opinions attractive too.”
” I fall for people who are passionate about things. It could be anything in their life, their studies, their job, their hobbies, but if I see their eyes light up when they talk about it, that’s what gets me. I feel very passionately about my own interests and the idea of trying to be with anyone who just considers their interests to be the same as any old thing they do isn’t the one for me.”
“when i know that I can be myself around them, and they fully accept who I am”
“Cuddles and lots of them.”
“When I say “so I had 3 dreams last night” and someone listens to all three vividly described dreams and only looks slightly bored”